The Girl I Used To Be

Writing this book became my own journey back to the fearless little girl I once was, and forward to the woman I now choose to be.

I grew up in the 1960s. We were a generation taught to be grateful, get on with things, and keep our emotions firmly to ourselves. That stiff upper lip carried me through decades of family upheaval, motherhood, and loss. I spent years pouring my energy into everyone else. I was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and a health coach. Taking care of people was simply what I did.

But somewhere along the way, I realised I had lost myself entirely. I had buried my own needs beneath mountains of responsibility. I started looking back at the fearless little girl I used to be. The one riding a red Chopper bike beneath the roar of aeroplanes. I wondered where she had gone and if I could ever get her back.

I learned that losing the life you have always known is sometimes the very thing that allows you to find yourself. This book is the story of how I made sense of my own past. It is about replacing quiet anger with deep compassion. Most importantly, it is proof that it is never too late to rediscover who you truly are.

We spend our whole lives meeting the expectations of others. We build homes, raise families, and establish careers. We become the glue holding everything together. But one day the house is quiet and the urgent demands finally fade. That is when the silence rushes in. You look in the mirror and realise you do not quite recognise the woman looking back.

Childhood experiences and family dynamics shape the adults we become. We carry old wounds and quiet beliefs without even knowing they are there. Those invisible threads pull at our choices every single day. They tell us to stay quiet, to be helpful, and to never ask for too much.

But those patterns do not have to define your next chapter. You can look at your history with gentle eyes. You can validate the struggles you faced and heal the wounds you carried for so long. You can finally step out from beneath the weight of everyone else's needs.

Why this book deserves your time

This isn't a book about blame, nor is it about simply thinking positively and pretending the past didn't happen.

You will find a warm, reflective space to explore your own story. It will help you understand how your childhood shaped your present. It gives you the tools to create healthier boundaries and build a joyful, authentic future.

Returning to Your True Self

H.O.M.E.

The book walks you through a clear path to rediscover who you are.

Honour Your Story

Look back at your early years to understand the family dynamics that shaped your worldview.

Observe Yourself with Compassion

Many of us have spent years reacting rather than understanding. This stage teaches emotional intelligence and self-awareness.

Mind and Body Nourishment

Nourish your physical and emotional health, and claim the space you need, after years of putting others first.

Evolve Into Your Next Chapter

Reconnect with your dreams, your joy and your sense of adventure.

What you will find inside

A gentle exploration of how the stiff upper lip generation learned to bury their feelings.
Practical advice on replacing quiet resentment with genuine self-compassion.
Personal stories of family upheaval and the resilience required to rebuild a life.
Guidance on establishing boundaries with the people you love.
A roadmap to unearthing the brave, free version of yourself you left in childhood.

Why you should keep this book close

Deep validation

See your own lifetime of quiet sacrifices finally recognised and understood.

Gentle healing

Learn to make sense of your past without dwelling in regret.

Renewed purpose

Find the courage to make your next decades entirely your own.

Start your journey home today

Get The Girl I Used To Be now for just

What is included

The Girl I Used To Be
The first two chapters delivered immediately by email
Access to Karan's weekly reflective letters

Meet the author

Karan Holloway

Karan Holloway is a Certified Health and Wellbeing Coach and Certified Nutrition Coach. She has over twenty years of experience working in and alongside the NHS to support people in improving their health. Living in Christchurch, Dorset, she is a mother to three grown daughters and a grandmother to three grandchildren.

At sixty-two, Karan is passionate about helping other women understand their own stories and create healthier boundaries. She writes to guide women in rediscovering the parts of themselves buried beneath years of caring for everybody else.